Can’t Find Your Personal Style? Here’s Why (and What to Do About It)

By Lelalo

For many of us, the phrase personal style feels like a magical destination: once we “find” it, everything clicks. Our closet makes sense, our confidence skyrockets, and our outfits always feel like us. But if you’ve ever stood in front of your wardrobe thinking, I don’t know what my style is, you’re not alone.

The truth is, most people struggle with this. Personal style isn’t something you stumble upon; it’s something you gradually build. If you feel stuck, here are some common reasons why and some practical ways to move forward.

1. You’re Trying to Follow Too Many Trends

Scrolling through TikTok, Instagram or Pinterest can make anyone’s head spin. One day it’s quiet luxury, the next it’s clean girl, then suddenly everyone’s in strawberry core or ballet flats. With so many micro-trends popping up, it’s easy to feel like you need to reinvent yourself every few days. Fashion trends used to be based around cultural factors or relevant world events (Think, return to glamour after wearing uniforms during World War two) and these came about, were given time to breathe and evolved before another world event or cultural shift in a few years' time. In modern times, you're expected to reinvent your personality and style every week!

But style isn’t about owning every trendy item. In fact, chasing trends often leaves your wardrobe feeling disjointed and your budget drained (Of course, that's the point.)

What to do instead: Start noticing which pieces you reach for again and again. If you always grab your oversized blazer, maybe sharp tailoring speaks to you more than cottagecore florals. Let your real-life habits guide you, not just the algorithm. Develop your style around things you love and let them consistently communicate who you are, rather than switching it up with every new trend.

2. You’re Expecting Style to Be a Fixed Identity

Many people get stuck because they believe style should be a permanent, unchanging label: “I’m bohemian.” “I’m minimal.” But style is fluid. It shifts with your lifestyle, your body, your age, and even your mood.

Expecting it to stay rigid makes you feel like you’re failing whenever you outgrow old preferences. But evolving doesn’t mean you lack style - it means you’re human.

What to do instead: Think of style as a spectrum rather than a box. You might be 70% classic, 20% sporty, and 10% glam. This flexibility allows your wardrobe to adapt without abandoning what makes it you. And as you add individual pieces that bring you joy, these balances will shift over time, allow yourself this evolution without trying to stick to any kind of specific blend.

Your own style is made up of the combination of individual characteristics from each trend that speak to you and bring you joy! If you love a bold print from maximalism and a clean, tailored fit from businesswear with the rich fabrics of clean girl, your individual style is what you manage to create from all of these ingredients.

3. You’re Overlooking Practicality

Sometimes we love clothes in theory but never wear them in practice. Maybe you adore silk dresses but work in an office that requires business casual. Or you stock up on high heels even though you walk everywhere.

When your wardrobe doesn’t fit your lifestyle, you’ll constantly feel like you have “nothing to wear.”

What to do instead: Audit your daily routine. Where do you spend most of your time? What clothes make those activities easier? Prioritise functionality first, then sprinkle in personality. A stylish wardrobe that isn’t wearable won’t serve you.

4. You’re Afraid to Experiment

Another reason people struggle to “find” their style is fear. We worry about standing out too much, making a fashion mistake, or being judged for trying something new. So we stick with the same safe, neutral pieces—and then wonder why we feel uninspired.

What to do instead: Give yourself permission to experiment. Start small: a patterned scarf, bold lipstick, or bold, expressive earrings. Try a rental service or thrift store if you don’t want to commit financially. Think of experimentation as research, not failure.

Let this happen gradually over time, give up on shopping for a while but when you see something that speaks to you, listen to your gut and go for it.

5. You’re Missing the Inspiration Filter

Inspiration overload is real. You might pin 300 looks on Pinterest, but if they’re all over the map, you’ll never see a clear thread. The key isn’t just collecting inspiration—it’s filtering it.

What to do instead: Look at your saved outfits side by side. Do you notice repeating colours? Silhouettes? Fabrics? Even if the aesthetics are different, patterns will emerge. Those consistencies are your personal style’s foundation.

6. You’re Ignoring the Power of Feelings

We often think of style in terms of how it looks. But how does it feel? Does a structured blazer make you feel powerful or restricted? Does a flowy maxi dress make you feel carefree, or messy?

Clothing is emotional. If you ignore how outfits affect your mood, you’ll never feel fully comfortable in them.

What to do instead: Keep a style journal for a week. Each day, jot down what you wore and

how it made you feel. Over time, you’ll spot the pieces that truly boost your confidence.

Final Thoughts

If you’re struggling to “find” your personal style, take a breath. Style isn’t a hidden treasure waiting to be discovered - it’s a practice, like cooking or writing. It takes trial, error, and patience.

The next time you feel lost, remember:

• Stop chasing every trend.

• Embrace flexibility instead of rigid labels.

• Match your wardrobe to your real life.

• Experiment without fear.

• Filter your inspiration.

• Pay attention to how clothes make you feel.

Your personal style isn’t about looking like someone else - it’s about dressing in a way that makes you feel authentic and confident. And the more you practice, the clearer it becomes.

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